Totally Bizarre

Thoughts

2012-01-28T23:16:00.003+08:00

It's what doesn't get better frightens me.
Like, what if i stay in this state forever?

RANDOM

This Dragon Year 2012

2012-01-26T00:00:00.004+08:00

This CNY is a little special.
I don't get to see many people.
It doesn't feel like CNY at all.
But, I'm still very happy and contented with the time spend with my love ones.

This year, I only took photos on the first day of CNY.
And then gamble all the way for the next two days. HAHA!

This is my red chongsam outfit for first day of CNY.
With my nude 4 inch heels.

With my elder brother and sister.

DAD IS FIFTY THIS YEAR! OMGOMG!

Granny is super busy these days because of CNY.
Hopefully these days I had been much help to her.

ALL MY LOVELIES!

Wish we will have more this kind of group photo!
So nice right!

with Ashley and PML

This two photos are so beautiful!

THE TWO MOST RETARDED PEOPLE IN MY LIFE.

LOVE THEM!!

Second day of CNY was mahjiong and blackjack all the way.
Then at night meet Mel's BFFs for movie.
Has supper and great talk.
Third day of CNY was mahjiong too.

JUST GAMBLE ONLY! HAHA

Just A Little

2012-01-24T02:00:00.002+08:00

Always gamble on CNY one leh!

Will be back to update everything at one shot.
(:
Happy Lunar New Year everyone!

Love is blind

2012-01-23T01:20:00.002+08:00

They say love is blind.
It's utterly blind.
I know that no third party should comment on a relationship than the two person involved.
But. You made me sick. You made me uncomfortable.
You upset my life, my thinking and my feelings.
I can't understand why.
I can't accept it.
And I don't like it at all.
I HATE IT.
I feel totally miserable with all these things going on.
Go away. Go far away from us.
God. I'm asking strength and courage from you to let me change this.
For the benefit of everyone i love around me.
I am not the only one who is uncomfortable and upset.
I don't want them all to go through this.
So God, I beg for no wisdom to accept this.
God, I prayed for this to end.
And I can't wait for this to be over.
Because every single time I think of it, my heart sank.
My heart hurts.
It's killing me.
It's even more bitter than the time I lost J.
It's even worst than seeing my mom going berserk.
It's worst than those late night I thought of littlebud.
Because when all these happen, I know it'll somehow gets better.
But this time, I can't figure it out.
And I'm too coward to stand forward.
It's just so horrible.
I just feel so much pain.
You're a Satan in our life.
I won't let you win.
I won't give in to this dumb shit.
And I am going to make you leave.
This isn't suppose to happen.
This is not right.
This is wrong.
It's a big mistake.
I am not here to judge.
I am here to protect who i love.

Eve of Eve of CNY

2012-01-21T23:49:00.000+08:00

First of all, HAPPY BIRTHDAY "GARY" SETHHHYYYY!

Here's mummy.
Do we look alike?
I think she's so much prettier ^^,

Mummy and little bro are going oversea for the CNY.

Today's the eve eve of CNY.
Went down to my aunty's mee stall to send CNY goodies.
PML was there too.
Saw ZhiSheng there as well.

My reunion dinner with my dad is always a day or a week earlier than the actual eve date.

These are my ngui sisters.

Had a great dinner and so much fun at the blackjack table.
Everyone looked really tired tonight.

I am so excited for CNY.
Please don't rain so that I can still look decent.
Because I'm already very troubled due to the lack of ideas of combing my hair.
I'm so excited to see TohTS!
Haven't seen him for such a loooooooooooooooooooooooong time.

Today is also the arrival of JLim back.
I bet dearG is extremely happy and now enjoying every moment with him.
I can't ask for more than just seeing my best friend being this happy.
It makes me smile too.
I get her. I know what's she's saying when she says that when you get hold of him you just wanna cry.
#beenthere #donethat each time he goes away.
I mean, what is mine compare to hers! HAHA!

I WISH EVERYONE TO HAVE AN AMAZING CNY (:

Long Weekend

2012-01-21T00:01:00.004+08:00

It's been a hectic week.
But thank God it's over now and I am so prepared for my CNY weekend.
Looking forward to see all my lovely relatives. (& gossips)

Have been trying to decorate my room into the "mod" zone.
With many Audrey Hepburn / Cinderella thingy.
But then again. Failed lehh.

Framed two Audrey's portrait but failed to hang it on my wall.

This is how my wall look like now

Most of the pictures are taken in 2010.
Some were from 2009.
A few from 2011 and none of 2012 yet.
All the people from this "wall of memories" are important.
They changed me one way or another.

Some were once close and we don't contact anymore now.
Some were different now from when the photo is taken.
Some were not so close but extremely close now.
Some were close to me from then till now. *Grateful*
But i wanna remember them all.
No matter how far we drift apart, they are important in my life.

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR EVERYONE!

Life's too short again

2012-01-17T01:51:00.003+08:00

EVERYTHING WILL BE OVER IN THREE WEEKS TIME!

World of Instgram

2012-01-16T03:04:00.003+08:00

Everyone these days playing with INSTAGRAM!
Me too ! HAHA !
Haven't been blogging much in details.
I'm not busy at all.
Just keep "nua" at home or work.

Last week, Chen Fang's little boy came to fetch her from work.
So i grabbed him to snap a photo (:

Last week was baby's birthday.
Happy 22nd little omelet. you will always be little in my heart.

Crazy bra shopping with Pauline last few days!

Gossiping and fun loving moments with LAMP

Have i told you lately i'm totally hook on Melissa?
HAHAHAHAHA She's been a darling really.
Always there for me with sweet words.
But she also very fierce. I very scare.

Some days back, I went to take my stuffs from CChouse.
Natalie is growing up so fast.
Kids.
She now teaches me how to play some Iphone games.
And she can't believe that i actually don't know how to play.
*FAILURE AUNT*

That's the day i receive news that my uncle was admitted to the hospital.
Went to visit him two days ago.
I'm praying for him to recover fast and get home soon.

This is Dad's gift for me on my twentyfirst.
YEARS AGO LAHH.
Just went to buy one pennant to fill after two years =.=

Okay and one random picture of me! HAHAHAHAHAHAH!

My little bro is growing too!
Like a want to be handsome (:

Crazy ah lians!

These days have been really aimlessly living.
I am going to be damn stress this week.
AND ITS ALL MY OWN FAULT!
I don't know but things are getting worst.
Though i was happy at first but now it felt like things are collapsing.
Dramas and dramas.
I wish I could escape somewhere.
Even sentosa sounds like a good idea.
Sighs

It's back

2012-01-14T03:46:00.002+08:00

Watched "We not Naughty" last night.
It was enjoyable. Reflects most of the kids in Singapore.
The gamble part for Singaporean's family is really true.

I've been thinking of things i shouldn't be thinking recently.
I have these thoughts but i should let them go.
Things are suppose to simple.
And I should have known that it's too good to be true.

Freddie and Effy

2012-01-13T03:03:00.004+08:00

I miss this show so much and Freddie.
It's a well done character.
The amount of love he had given to Effy was just speechless.

It's like you can't believe that you're actually good enough for this guy to love you back this much.
It's the first time you felt like you could have happiness.
And someone believes you deserve.
And it scares you because this love made you weak.
Because you had never been so attached and lost in a relationship.
It's too much and too strong and you can't overcome it.
Because you love this person so much too.
Too loved and too happy, you don't know what to do.
Too focus on what's gonna happen next than to enjoy the times together.
But time will never stop for you to reflect and stay in that moment.
Things move.

He would do anything to ensure Effy's safe and okay from all her suicidal thoughts.
He saves her all the time.

A little break from all

2012-01-07T01:59:00.002+08:00

I wouldnt say this show is bad.
Like if you have watched "Sucker Punch", nothing can be that bad.
But it wasnt at all amazing or worth mentioning to others.

But my company for this movie is way better than the movie itself.
Haven't laughed like this for a long time. HAHA

First day of TWENTY TWELVE

2012-01-03T02:13:00.002+08:00

Starting 2012 with a Sunday is extremely beautiful.
It's a sign of good things are coming.
Not one, not two, but many unceasing fruits will be coming my way.

First day of 2012, i celebrated a special and very important friend's 21st.
Melissa (:

Her theme is purple and i went deep into my closet to find this Bershka forgotten tee.
HAHA!

I wished that she enjoyed herself that day and also be happy through the rest of her life.
She told me she's cold blooded but i felt that she's the warmest treasure.
She seems unapproachable but when you really know her, it's a blessing if you really get to her heart.
She's an amazing friend.
And i hope she will always be my best friend and we will create more beautiful memories in 2012 !
ALL THE BEST STARTING SCHOOL MEL (:
Happy Birthday (:

Best of 2011 (:

2011-12-31T23:11:00.002+08:00

30 minutes to the year 2012.
2012, the year everyone says that it would be human's last.
So let's start embracing this "last year" we keep thinking about.
Let us make it the best if it's the last.
Let us make it the best even though we could have 2013 (:
Make 2012 better than any years you have.

My first 2012 new year message was from Caleb.
It made my day. And i am thankful that he is still here with me.
I know recently he has been a bit down and I'm hoping that new year could give him new blessings.

Thank you Eilly and Geraldine for the last talk f 2011 few days ago.
This two people are the ones I will keep forever.
Love you girls.

Sufyan. We have grew much distance this year.
I suppose this is always a part of any friendship?
I still love you the same and I know that 2012 will be better than this year for both of us (:

Jerald. Grew closer this year.
We all have ups and downs.
I'm glad that you're with me the times I need someone.
Thank you.

Weibin. Had never left me alone since the day we know each other.
Am so blessed to have you around!
Thank you.

Melissa. Grew so much closer this year.
Thank you for seeing me almost every single day.
You have made my 2011 from bad to better (: Love you.

Jeff. In this year, our roles in each other's life changed.
Thank you for still lending a hand when I need any help.
And I wish you all the best in 2012 and many years ahead.

#MOTDARKCLOUDS
Bigger. Gossiper and much more troubles.
Also, fun.

Minle. My one and only soul mate i guess?
Know me inside out. Someone who grew up with me.
And also grew closer and closer each day.
Love you so very much. Same as Yanbin!!

Lovlies (Nguis and Lees and Tian)
Blessing to have you all around during all times.
Love all the moments and laughters we have.
Thank you very much!

Kenneth. My true blood brother that will never leave me no matter what.
I thank God for him. He's my problem solver and care taker.
Thank you and love you a lot a lot !

As far as I am concern, I wanna remember the good things of 2011.
Though, there were not many, I believe every single moment made me grew.
And all moments made me who I am today.

One Blessed Night

2011-12-27T16:01:00.002+08:00

Went for Christmas service in the morning of Christmas.
Then to Aunt Patricia's place in the afternoon!
She baked chicken pie, cookies and roast pork.
All super yummy!
Had major eating session there.

The night was reserved for Mandy's BBQ party.
A month ago when I saw her invitation I WAS MAD EXCITED.
I mean like, my maternal family never really have Christmas parties.
THANKS MANDY SO MUCH.
I love going to family parties!

The place is full of kids and kids and kids.
Just drown in them.
It was super joyous and lively.
All the innocent laughter of the kids filled the whole BBQ area.

Got the news that my cousin, who is the same age as me, is going to apply for a flat.
Which also means, she is going to get married pretty soon i guess?
I'm so happy for her.
Her boyfriend is a nice guy.
And i wish them all the best (:

Thank you Lord for blessing me times I have with my family this season (:
Happy Birthday.

Blessing in the lips and hearts

2011-12-27T15:50:00.002+08:00

Every year's Christmas eve is special.
Even though i celebrated all my Christmas eve with lovelies.
Every year is still special.
It's the day we know, we will be celebrating together.
It's a blessing to have family members willing to get together to exchange gifts and play games.

Yes i made the decorations too! haha

The kids!

Granny is the one in charge of giving out the gifts!

My favourite part of the whole gathering was the game session.
It's always nice to just laugh at yourself and others.
It's so much fun and those memories are worth remembering.

I CAN'T WAIT TO BAKE WITH LOVLIES!
THE "I NEED TO PREPARE" MOMENTS I MISS!

Blessed in this Season

2011-12-27T15:29:00.002+08:00

Here's the update of the every first Christmas party i had this year.
It was last Friday at Jchoo's place.
Last year, we had christmas party on the same day at his place as well.
This year, i'm helping him to host and i hope everyone there had a satisifying party!

Though i do not know most of his friends there but it's a nice get together.
I wanna say thanks to the people who came and also brought foods to contribute.

The decoration i made which a lot people missed out :(
But thank you Marcus for putting it up for me.
Graet job!

So many food !

Friends of friends of friends
Many i don't even know their names! haha

Thank you pat for the awesome talk that night.
And also helping out so much on the party!
She was there super early!

And this is my little bro Jchoo who likes to disturb me alot.

But still I'm thankful that i have him (:

Who doesn't long for?

2011-12-22T14:46:00.007+08:00

Days ago while Xmas-hopping with Minle.

Skater dress by EGP

It's really lucky to have someone so close to your heart.
Especially someone who grew up with you.
This person who never judges you even when you're wrong.
This person who you can tell everything to.
Your fears and everything you ever thought of.
Thank God for loving me much more than I deserve.
Placing every single kind soul around me.
Thank you.

Awesome day with GM

2011-12-20T01:25:00.002+08:00

This movie, i thought was gonna be as bad as "valentine's day" or "he is not that into you"
but surprising, it's good.
Except the Ashton Kutcher's part seriously.

And WOOHOO!
MISSION IMPOSSIBLE IS IMPOSSIBLE TO MISS!

Two great movies in one day accompanied by Mer.
(:
Packed for the rest of the week :(

Sum up 2011

2011-12-19T01:21:00.003+08:00

Upon reading my SUM UP 2011, Im super demoralized to write the Sum up of 2011.

2010 had been fun.
2011 is just so different.

How should I begin? 2011 is one of the worst year I've been, I think. There were so many losses. My greatest lost? My weight! I dropped 7-8kg this year. It was mainly due to my health problem anyway. 2011 is also the year, i made countless trips to hospitals. It is also the year i had the thing i wanted most all these time and lost it. And probably never had it again. It's the year I had more medicines than meals. Means spending a large amount of money just on hospital bills.

2011, I had quite an amount of twenty first birthday. First up was Minyi's. Then Aishu's and Pauline's. They are still awesome work mates! Then recently I went to Darren's. This year's birthday was simple, but sweet to me. Very different from 2010, I havent been out of Singapore a single day this year. Not even to Malaysia.

When you focus on what you've lost, you'll lose more.

I totally get this saying. I've let myself miserable for too long. I'm always finding faults and cannot move on. I can't say I am completely happy now. But at least I have not let myself stay in sadness anymore. I don't pray for happiness every single day. I just wish not to be sad.

Losing one thing and make every beautiful things being lost as well. Because I focused too much on the things that are lost. I have no time for lovely and much little things beside me. When I finally wake up and realise, I am praying it's not too late.

This year, I have made the decision that changed my life. It might as well be the best decision I have made. When they say they saw the rainbow. I felt the rainbow. It's the indescribably feeling inside out. Like you shine just when you don't realise. Some things are just meant to be. And often it's those you think you'll never believe or be.

I hope that everyone have a blessed Christmas holiday!
I know my three Christmas parties are gonna rock!
(:

The youngest at last

2011-12-19T00:15:00.002+08:00

#MOTDARKCLOUDS have never ending birthday parties!
Here, the baby boy of our clique is celebrating his last friday.

Happy Birthday to Chuan Feng (:
I bought him a lovely daisy and all of them says is chrysanthemum.
Wa Really emo.
They even say use the flower, pluck the petals and make drinks.
WHAT THE RIGHT? haha.
My cute lovely bunch of friends. Retards. HAHA

Laughters @ Riverside

2011-12-19T00:07:00.002+08:00

Few days ago, i met up with the babes from TH.

They are really lovely.

I think a lot of things are meant to be.
We didn't meet up much or contact a lot.
But everytime we hang out, it's awesome and lots of fun.
We can talk like we know each other for damn long!

The girls are party animals!
And really lots of fun!

So i brought them to BEERMARKET :)
And i saw this awesome band that night.
i'm going to support them tomorrow.

DID U SEE MY NEW HAIR?
HAHA I SHAVED THE SIDES
I LOOK TOO AWESOME.
HAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHA

Here I go again

2011-12-15T19:58:00.003+08:00

Can somebody tell me why the person who gave me life hated me so much?
It just feels like I shouldn't belong here.
Everything is my fault.
I don't know what I'm waiting for I continue to wait for it anyway.
Like, I hope one day things will get better.
But haven't I trust time enough?
That time is unable to make things better.
Things just got worst.
And time, the only possibly thing I don't have much.

To unexpecting challenge, I took

2011-12-13T21:02:00.002+08:00

Have been trying out new apps these days!
The GIF app Mych intro was awesome!!

(^above) Bro damn excited about taking this!
So adorable!

(^above) My FYP teammates!

(^above) Pauline got magic! haha.

(^above) At Jurong Point

(^above) My sexy face!

(^above) HAHA MY HAPPY MOMENTS!

I AM SEMI BOTAK!

Adoring this

2011-12-12T02:11:00.001+08:00

I really like comb back pixie cuts!

可能是失望吧

2011-12-10T11:51:00.007+08:00

人总是贪心的吧。我们要到什么时候才会知足呢？为什么都不珍惜身边那些随手可得的人或事物？非得到失去了才来后悔。为什么总要得到那些得不到的？那些拿不到的人和事物就特别有味道对吗？因为一直妄想，却又没有得到，所以更想要吗？一直在身边的人或事物就只是被当理所当然但不永恒的吗? 难道一直在的人和事物就没有吸引力了吗？得到了就不过瘾了是吗？就想要寻找更新鲜的？被遗忘的，多是可怜的。特别是付出很多过的。

有很多话不能说。开心就写在脸上，不开心就自己将忧愁吞了吧。近日来，是没有什么烦恼的，还算过得好。圣诞节就快要到来了。年底了，又是一年。希望在最后的这个月，我会好好的。今日眼睛红肿就因昨夜哭了一夜。红得疼。

Realisation

2011-12-08T12:55:00.002+08:00

Hey!

Here's an update on Darren's 21st birthday.
It was about 3 weeks ago.
The food were good and we all had an enjoyable time that night.
The theme was set blue that day.
I'm thankful for the people who made an effort to come in blue (:

BANANA CHOCOLATE CAKE! AWESOME CHOICE!

Look at the nice photo of BZ and him.
It's because I'm the photographer! haha.

His family members are so adorable!

Sighs.
Look at the guy's group photo and girl's group photo.
I took the guys one! So nice right!!
Sighs.
All the girls look so good but end up the photo look so offset!
#Blamethecameraman

Darren has been a good friend i can talk to ever since the trip last year.
I guess it's also because our age isn't that far away.
This nice man always send me home! AWESOME MUCH!
He will never complain and be calculative towards us!
I'm praying that his NS letter shows mercy.
I don't want him to miss the Phuket trip next year.

=

I think I've found the role God gave me in relationships.
HAHA! I'm always the girl who makes the guy realise they should go back to the previous one!
Forever the Miss Wrong I guess.
HAHA

那些年，我们一起追过的女孩

2011-12-06T20:36:00.006+08:00

那些年，我们一起追过的女孩

昨天，我终于看了这部戏。
没有一个看了这戏的人跟我讲不好看。
虽然，剧中和我中学时不太一样。
可这戏真的还不错。
我最认同的就是女生都会喜欢自己骂＂幼稚＂的那个男生。
其实，好看在哪里，很难讲。
但这戏真的不会叫人后悔去看。
好笑。又可爱。

我深信，在每个男生心中都会有一个沈佳谊。
每个女生的心中也会有一个柯景滕。

＂恋爱最美好的就是暧昧的时候。＂

我害怕约会。约会好像是留给你的。别人都不可以。
约会好像是属于你的。和别人约会只是更想你。
现在约会好像怎么都不完美。

Caught me by surprise

2011-12-04T01:12:00.003+08:00

Last night was Arvin's house dinner.
However, i didn't make it in time!
His mom's cooking was fabulous, i heard!
She's so kind. Keep wondering if we had enough food!
So adorable family!

Was really late for the party.
So decided to make a "darkcloud notes" card for him.
Really hope he likes it!

AND I DID NOT SNAP THE PHOTO I TOOK WITH HIM =.=
Anyway it was really fun as well playing circle of death!

昨晚，在说＂劈腿＂后看到的那一幕，我的脑乱了。
我承认，那画面好恐怖。惊讶多过难过吧。

Say Real One

2011-12-01T21:30:00.000+08:00

Ngee Ann Regatta!

Most of them are from dark cloud clan.
Dark cloud. I've only known them for one year.
But they are extremely nice people.
So when I'm old and forgetful, I want to look back and tell my kids, these people are worth my memory to remember.

(Above ^) Jchoo bro guidelines to rowing.
I guess he's the best gift God had given me in dark cloud.
Thank you for everything.

(Above ^) See, i got the dragonboat seh right?
Thanks to bro. He equip me with all his stuffs.
Life jacket also not same as the whole boat!
HAHA! #likeacool

Okay, after the regatta, i injured myself.
HAHA DAMN DUMB!
But i did not regret lah. (okay maybe like 10% of me got regret)
But it was really fun!
It's one of the best memory to look back!
#Sayrealone

十二月了

2011-12-01T09:55:00.003+08:00

时间过得真快，一转眼，二零一一年的最后一个月份到了。
一直都在等这年过。这一年，得到了很多，失去的更多。
这一年，虽然悲伤忧愁比快乐欢笑多，但我长大了。
心长大了。这是一年，我完全不知道自己要什么，想什么。
但如果过去了，就没法子回来了，所以，我要好好过最后的这一个月。
我希望在这一个月，我会真正的活着。我要感觉存在着。

The sweetest past tense

2011-11-30T01:28:00.005+08:00

Today, I saw this video.
It was said that the best part of their romance is after they had parted.
Because they could fully love each other without each other around.
That's when you will stop worrying how much this person will love you back.
That's when you don't quarrel and get upset and doubt the relationship.
That's when you can forget about fights and the struggle between both of you and others around.
And then enjoy the moment of loving the person the way you always hoped.
You probably then realized everything is planned and both of you weren't meant for anyway.

最近好像把一直放在心中的石头放下了。
心情平静了许多。有些东西已经只是回忆和成长的记忆。

Do what makes you happy.

2011-11-28T23:58:00.004+08:00

The pass few days have been the happiest days since September starts.
I am weird and almost close to mad i guess.
But it's really from the bottom of my heart I'm seriously happy.

步步惊心

2011-11-27T01:22:00.004+08:00

Okay I'm here to introduce this 35 episodes drama.
At first, when PML told me about it, i was like "WHAT? NICE MEH?"
So decided to just watch one episode 2 days ago (@ 1am).
After i started, I couldn't stop. Straight away watch till 7am and go school.

It's damn addictive.
The show started off really lively.
Then got history background.
Then love stories.
And kinships/friendships.
Though the scenes happen in palace where women or men fought for power, I think in our society still the same lor!

*SIDE NOTE*
KEVIN CHENG IS 42 LIKE NEAR AGE TO MY DAD SIA!!
AND NICKY WU IS YOUNGER THAN HIM
how he take care of that face man!

i know it sounds weird but i was willing to give this drama a go because it talked about the aisin gioro princes' battle for the throne.
I'm very very very interested in history one!!
BUT THEN HOR I ALSO WATCH FOR NICKY WU.
I like him since i was in primary school.
I don't know what I like about him haha.
Just like only!
He is my first idol when i was young.
Aiya, I know i very old lah!! I bet some people don't even know he's in 小虎隊
HAHA I know how to sing their songs some more.
Okay, back to track.
I really love this show. It taught me so many things.
Cry Laugh Cry Laugh Cry Laugh the whole 3 days!
YEP I FINISHED THIS DRAMA IN 3 DAYS WITH SCHOOL AND WORK!
It's super addictive, just cannot stop!

There's a lot of phrases and quotes about life in this show.
And it's all super meaningful.
EHHH. But need to understand many chinese chiminology.
All the things they say super chim.

The last three days were the best "me" days!
I feel absolutely happy watching the drama!
SUPER HIGH I DONT KNOW WHY!
All my fears, worries, everything just put aside and concentrate on this drama.
Like a lunatic. even watched on bus, or walking home from bus stop! haha.

Now i'm back to my boring life after finishing this drama.
Should source for good shows like this!

Thank You

2011-11-22T23:27:00.004+08:00

Elephants.
I feel that people hurt elephants because they look strong.
They look unbeatable. Or when they are beaten, people think they can recover quickly.
So when they are hurt, it's almost as if they don't feel a thing.
Elephants are extremely gentle and loyal inside.
They are easily attacked and being mistreated.
When i look at elephants, i feel that they believe in magic and fantasy.
That someday, someone will treat them the they treat others.
And I do too.

I love all my shower times.
It's like a "me" time with my cries with only one can listen.
I apologised a lot.
A lot.

Think as you read

2011-11-21T12:30:00.001+08:00

blog hopped to Ron's gf blog.
love the recent post.

Seven Years

2011-11-20T23:46:00.004+08:00

time flies.
you can most measure it when you see little children growing.
how they were so little and now speaking to you like they are you best friends.

Natalie is now seven years old.
She's that "perfect present" for us these years.
I hope she knows that.
On birthday of this little girl, i wish to give thanks for Mummychew and Papachew.
And tell them ,"Your little girl is amazing."

This is a phrase i read a month ago from tumblr.

"You know what I think we are most afraid of? Not knowing. Not knowing whether it’s all really worth it. Not knowing if you should give up or keep fighting. Not knowing why you do the things you do; not knowing the purpose. It’s like when you’re little and you touch the stove and get burned because you didn’t know that it was hot. Not knowing has always hurt us, from the every beginning."

Today was horrible.
I showered 4 times so i can cry alone in my bathroom.
The scariest part is i don't know what i'm crying for.
I'm just so lost and scare.
I remembered that phrase ever since i read it.
I don't know what i want. I have no big dreams and plans.
But everyone should have dreams and plans.
I did had. But they no longer valid.
Actually, I don't believe in plans and dreams anymore.
Things change everyday and we can't prevent it.
Plans are meant to be disturbed. Dreams will never be as planned.
I don't dare to set targets. I'll never meet them.
Don't know how and when i've become this way i felt comfortable in it.
I've let it defeated me.
When I don't aim or expect anything, then i'll stop being disappointed in myself when things aint doing according to plans.
I'm praying to come out of that shell.
I want to know what I really want again.
I maybe be slow but i have faith that one day, when i overcome all these, I'll be ten times stronger than what I am now.

Please be with me always.

Immortals

2011-11-19T05:23:00.002+08:00

"All men's souls are immortal. But the souls of the righteous are immortal and divine." - Immortals (2011)

I don't know why I really love Greek Myth.
It's awesome.

Probably it's the faith and beliefs they have.
There is always hope and there is always a hero.

Many argued that Luke Evans was too gay to be Zeus.
HE IS MAD AWESOME LAHH. DONT CARE; HE IS DAMN HOT!

"If we expect them to have faith in us, we must have faith in them." - Zeus, Immortals (2011)

I shall not fear anymore

2011-11-13T19:34:00.004+08:00

There were a few meet ups and I really enjoyed myself.

Kisskiss look like Japanese student here. So cute.
Ohhhh side note; Happy 4th Anniversary to Kisskiss&Fatty!

Kym refuse to play at first but i hope she had enjoyed! haha.

Then a day back, Claud and I met for dinner.
My favourite mentai tofu.

C's kimuchi soup! We were wondering if kimuchi and kimchi are the same.

Lobster salad handroll is soooooo amazing.

This movie is incredible.
I know who is Tintin. But I have never watched the cartoon or read the comic before.

Steven Spielberg made Tintin look so alive.

I am so excited of all the good things that are going to happen soon.
Last night was kind of emotional between myself and him.
I get it that things are going to be better and the moments of breakthroughs are coming (:
Thank you.

Help comes without a price

2011-11-10T02:25:00.003+08:00

Hey everyone, this is a picture of me last night having awesome dinner.
It's fish and steak. With my favorite boil carrots. Dead awesome.

Thought that I could have an amazing dinner date after much crying previous night.

So shortly after i had my dinner, after like 20 mins, i had it all vomited out. Though i usually got gastric upsets and intestine infection and puking seems normal routine for me, this time it freaks me out. I felt like I just had the "puke of my life". Seriously, i can feel my gastric and lungs working so hard together. My stomach, rib bones and hip bones were in great pain. I was breathless. I couldn't think or react to what was happening. It felt like a black out + puking. It's just weird and it really gets me. Really scares me. Look at the photo, look at my bones near the chest area, look. It's disgusting. I always wanted to be skinny. So much, it doesn't really comes to me that i could appear too skinny. After last night, i was so afraid.

Every single day, I had a meal. Just one meal. I don't feel hungry at all. I don't crave for any food. If i was outside with my friends, I will eat. Then I will puke it all out. Every day. I didn't dig the food out on purpose. The food just came out. I can't control. Well, I ate lots of pills. But it doesn't seems to help for now. I depend on water for the past 5 days. Only liquid. I'm losing sleep every night.

I didn't write all these to make myself appear pathetic. Almost none reads this corner anymore. But i do. I favorite my own blog link. It serve as a reminder that i promise myself today, i will live better. I haven't been doing it since way back. And I have been hiding and going round the circles myself. I was defeated and I continue to let more things defeat me. But people will see how strong i am again. At least those who love me. And I will have that strength, will and faith.

Enough

2011-11-09T02:29:00.001+08:00

And she shouted at me again.
And she said nobody is going to love me ever.
And she reminded me of why I am alone.
And she told me how useless I am.
And better off dead.

How much more can I really take?

Vanish from now onwards

2011-11-08T23:37:00.003+08:00

Jingyou's birthday was few days back

Today doctor says that i am underweight and is unhealthy-ly underweight.
HAHA! Don't know want to happy anot.
Have to take more pills than usual tonight.
Got gastric flu :(

Hello November

2011-11-02T13:14:00.003+08:00

Gonna update about the past few weeks.
Sorry for the lack.
Wasn't feeling alright for some days.

LAMP bought me this.
Girls, we should include BX name in LAMP soon!
HAHA!

They made me this red (my fave color) crown.
Princess doesn't really suit me but i love every bit of the crown.
Yes, even the staples! haha.

I love flowers.
All sort of flowers!
I love to receive flowers all the time!
They knew me so well!

Ashley/Aishu

Aishu/Pauline

Jacelyn/Melissa

Ashley Lebron/Pauline

They are so sweet and nice.
I love them all.

My 4 inch. haha.

NEXT DAY!

DLO with candyanddear.

My another 4inch. haha.

November is really busy month for me.
Hopefully, all these business can make me forget things i want to.
I wanna be happy again.
I wanna be who i am in 2009.
I think that's my favorite year of all time.

oh and meet up with people who makes me whole lot better.

Overnight at PML's place one of those nights.
Love it to the max!

Too beautiful for Earth

2011-10-30T23:14:00.002+08:00

I fell in love since the day I knew you.
Now, I hold you in my heart than in my arms.
Your footprints are perfect.
They never had a chance to touch the ground.
But now you have wings.
it defies my beliefs.
But I know you're in safe hands of Jesus.
He'll sing you lullaby.
Even if you're gone,
We will never be truly apart.

"It's not easy to be you, you know?"

2011-10-30T22:57:00.002+08:00

Lovelies had a Halloween night.
We came to a conclusion that going out will be a hassle.
Everywhere will be crowded.
We sat in TB64 and had scary movies marathon.
Though, not a lot of us survived till dawn.

I wanted to be vampire betty boop.
this is betty for those who had no idea who this sexy is.

and i failed.
i think i looked too cute.
LOL.

Made the props myself and kind of proud of it.

Recently watched some movies.
Except for Killerelite, In time and Three musketeers were good.
I really wanna watch One Day! everybody is saying its damn good.

Had a deep conversation with Dad today.
I told him things that he and everyone else want to hear.
I felt that i no longer can tell people how i really really feel inside.
Because it is irritating.
I can pretend that it really doesn't get me.
I can really just laugh and make a joke out of myself in front of everyone.
We will have fun and we will giggle till everyone forgets their troubles.
But whenever i close my eyes at night, i see everything coming back.
Time will heal. I will not stay like this forever, right?
Pain is inevitable but not permanent.

Don't tell me.

2011-10-25T01:51:00.003+08:00

Okay i promise im gonna try do the posting for these two weeks.
Tones of photos!

A photo of me out of nowhere because i love this shot by dear.

I feel really offended when you keep asking me to open up.
It annoys me so much.
No, its not running away or stuck in the past.
I don't want to try again.
I don't want to give chances.
I don't need to hurry to move on.
I'm in this space in between.
And it feels lonely sometimes but it's better than using someone else to forget someone.
I want to feel this emptiness.
Like nothing can shakes me.
So no one can ever hurt me again.
Or i'm afraid that i will be attack violently.

Glad You Came

2011-10-24T00:08:00.003+08:00

Glad that things are over.

LAMP celebrated my birthday for me.

I have to arrange follow ups and more tests in this one month.
Some nights, those pain killers don't work either.

Had a long HTHT with JL that day.
He told me we're the same and we need love, always.
This is the wrong that we thought was right.

Many photos to upload.
Sighs.
Tomorrow is the reality.

It's My Birthday

2011-10-20T08:25:00.002+08:00

Hello everyone who still cares about this little pathetic space of mine, IT'S MY FREAKING BIRTHDAY today!

Okay, I don't have celebrations, have nowhere to go, feels like shit and just wanna sleep indoor for the whole day!

I haven't been happy at all. So I think it's just not the time to celebrate anything. However, i'm gonna make a promise to myself that i will never break down anymore. For anything and anyone. I'm stronger than this and i have to pass through it. I always try to see the better side of people and now i'm just really tired of finding excuses for them when they don't deserve it.

Wish list :
1) Money. who don't want that?
2) Health.
3) No fake friends that i have to act like i care for them.
4) No quarrels at home.
5) Andy Lau

Love everyone who tried to cheer me up and do so many things for me(:

2011-10-19T01:04:00.003+08:00

I think at some point of the time i've already move on when i dont even know it.
i wish that this will be over.
for your benefit and mine.
I think we should have this talk long ago.
Like it really set me free.
But we're too busy running away.

All the gatherings

2011-10-17T15:52:00.003+08:00

Friday night with GerrryDear and SufyanCandy.
They are drinking shots and i'm eating chocolate churros with lime juice.
Pathetic.
but i love both of you so much.
Even try to buy my littlebuddy from me!
The time and talks spend with you two are so priceless.
HAHAHAHAHAHA!

Met with lovelies for dinner on Sat.

We went to Medz at Orchard Central.

Haha dimple! So rare to see it appear nowadays!

Thank you to all my lovelies.
They are just so wonderful.
Just a simple dinner can make my mood becomes so lively.

After that we went to Prive for a drink.

On Sunday, after work went to eat dinner with Dad.
As usual, my favorite dish should be prawns.
But instead i ate more crab than prawns.
I used to hate crabs!!
All my appetite had changed.

Just realized that probably littlebuddy loves chocolate.
I could just not eat for the whole day and then only take chocolates.
The smell of egg makes me nauseous.
And now i hate mushrooms.
sighs.

Ahlim everyday also ask me what i want for my birthday.
Seriously, i'm gonna wish for things that people can't buy me.
I want time and i want health.

So broke after paying phone bills and my scannings.
Need to survive a broke birthday! HAHA.
Everyday i only had one meal.
Really can't have anything. Felt really unwell.

2011-10-13T09:27:00.001+08:00

I just want to know what is the thing that I've done wrong to make you stay mad at me for so long.

Cos the hardest part of this Is leaving you

2011-10-10T22:09:00.001+08:00

I am actually very scare.

I just want to slow down and breathe

2011-10-10T00:23:00.000+08:00

See how dark my sims is?
LOVE IT!

Watched it.
It was FULL OF BREASTS AND TITTS AND BOOBS!
But Ryan Reynolds is so yummy.
Can eat him?

Good show for people who takes people around them for granted.

Every Inch Aches

2011-10-08T21:35:00.003+08:00

should i go work tomorrow with fever?
i mean i can take it. just that i kept feeling sleepy.


I'm gonna go to bed now.
My head is spinning like mad.
Something happened today and i felt really lousy.
I just want to come back to a quiet peaceful home i longed for.


I kind of like it when I kept smiling whenever i talked about you.
Everything about us were so beautiful even the fights.
Because of those fights we grew stronger.
Sometimes we just forget where we belong.
Along the way we lost our directions.
Some may find their way back.
Some just found new ones.

Rounds and rounds

2011-10-08T02:03:00.003+08:00

This movie is mad awesome.

From this movie, i've learn that people always like to decide what's best for others.
Sometimes, we may not be the best choice/option.
We may fail and we felt that the other party deserves better.
We run away and feel that we're not good enough.
But what is enough? And what is up to it?
If we are the only person that can make the other feel this way.
And if we only feel this special way to this another person.
It's the time spend together or the urge to be with that person.
It's the amount of effort you make and no matter how long it takes.
How everyday you tell yourself to give up/let go but you still long for that person to be around.
In any form of relationship.
And in this movie, it's Charlie and Max (dad-son).
or Charlie and Bailey (bff-lovers).
Differences and distance pull people apart psychically.
But never stops the heart.

I've learn to take it slow.
Because the harder i try to forget, it'll only remind me to remember.
I don't know how long I need. And I don't want to know.
If im gonna stay like this forever.
So be it. Life is too short to just do what your mind freaking tells you to.
The mind hurts you. You hurts the heart.
Feeling "something is better than nothing".

Goodnight folks!

You took a plane to space;

2011-10-06T21:24:00.002+08:00

I know who you are.
I know how inexpressive you are.
But you're the sweetest boy i know.
Even now.
Thank you for everything.

First two days of October

2011-10-03T22:40:00.003+08:00

Weekend was kindda cool.
Worked with Melissa for both days.

This is my outfit for Sat. with a brinjal bag.

haha when i collate i dont know i place two same photos in a photo -.-
#jacelynchong scolds me shutup that day!

next was with Pauline.

See my awesome hair and neopet face!

Went to Kisskiss house and view her table as a "room warming".

So nice!!

PIZZA!

Lovelies are lovely.
They keep asking what i want to do for my birthday.
Mer ask me too. haha.
Even Eillybabe! she ask me every lunch! haha.
HAI YOYOYOYOYO~
i have no time because of all the works.
BUT I LOVE U ALL AND EVEN NO CELEBRATION (but i know sure have right! even its a small tiny one) I STILL LOVE U ALL!

WAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA WICKED LAUGH.

Can't stand all these menopause aunties around me.
Keep nagging and getting paranoid for small stuffs.
Family pickles.
And this woman hor. Okay her name is mom.
She ask me whether i want the free room for my birthday.
Then i was like okay lor why not?
Then she say "aiya celebrate what birthday. also no people to celebrate with you anymore because J is no longer........."
After that the words all hurts so ... i didn't hear it.
Then my birthday MBS room is gone (:

2011-10-02T23:02:00.003+08:00

Hey Pillow, you know i really appreciate you these days. Like for letting me cry on and talk to. You're like the only one that never talks back cause you can't. Pure listener and let me rant whatever i want. And yeap, guess i drooled too. Sorry. But many loves.
XOXO
K

Life's too short

2011-10-02T22:34:00.003+08:00

Watched alone this movie a night ago.
Cried like mad.

Nevertheless Kate Hudson reminds me of you of course.

THEN!

Watched with Mer and Lim tonight.
Okay the sex scenes are so good. Love Justin Timberlake's ass. TOTALLY.

These movies just make me miss you more.
HAHA WHAT A FAILURE :(
But i need to admit it, i need to face it because i can't and i won't run forever.
you taught me that.

Second chances

2011-10-02T01:16:00.003+08:00

People are dying. And they're fighting to love each other till the last breathe.
And we quit because we're afraid to run in circles again and get hurt?
I don't know man. I got depress, really after watching the trailer.
I felt that in others people life, it's always perfect.
she'll meet the person who loves her deeply just before her death.
no regrets.
My life used to be perfect. Just not anymore.
Just picking up everything needs time.
i just don't know how long.
But, its all worth it.

Cuts in deeper

2011-10-02T01:01:00.003+08:00

Have so many things to say.
But feeling guilty to type it out here.

Bro's new 140 blazer.
Bro, promise me, and take me run away from here.
We have way to paranoid parents.

My lovely good friend who accompanied me every night.

Because you know when the night creeps in and make you think a lot, it really sucks.
It's so painful at times i just tried to run away from this world.

2011-09-29T23:31:00.002+08:00

When you're ready. Anytime. No matter how long.
When you're ready. Come save me again like you use to.
When you're ready. Let me rescue you back like once i did.
When you're ready. Just remember. Whenever you're ready.
When you're ready this time, we'll be ready.

Things i miss the most?

2011-09-25T22:09:00.003+08:00

Just looking back at the times when you sing me songs that don't exist.
The lyrics were words that you want to say to me.
The times we talked about our childhoods.
The times we talked about the childhood we want to give our children.
Then recalling things we used to do.
Just lying on the bed and hold your hand.
Make plans way before the dates come.
You spotted i'm smiling to myself and tell me "look how happy you are."
Dating you on a casual Saturday.
Places we go together and just keep walking aimlessly.
Find myself keep flashing back your "OMG U MISSED THE BEST "BLAH" IN YOUR LIFE."
now i really missed the best person i could ever get in my life.

How happiness can be so simple and yet unreachable now?

not forgetting, just putting it down

2011-09-25T22:02:00.003+08:00

Watched Johnny English with my little brother on Sat after we forfeit the idea of swimming.

Then went to Ben&Justin's birthday party.

Sunday was fun day with Melissa.
Watched it with her.
It was such a good film.

I'm going to work from tomorrow to 8th non stop.
no off days.
no nothing.
just work.
i can feel my whole body heating up now.
anytime, fever is coming.
serious.

A Day Ken and I will never forget

2011-09-25T01:31:00.003+08:00

One photo of me (: with my awesome hair - my dad loves.

Went to Ben & Justin Bday today.

Ken and I just spend 2 hours cleaning the van with vomits.

HAIS!

Suddenly just miss how much i want you to be around me.

Wish you were here.

2011-09-24T00:14:00.002+08:00

there must be a lot of things in your mind now.
i shouldn't act like a mental unstable freak.
i'm willing to go that extra mile to make you find the person who you fell for back then.
i'm prepare to chase you back.
even if it's gonna be this way forever, picking myself up is a need.
i must be okay.
i must be better than i am.

Hey, Pixie

2011-09-22T00:36:00.003+08:00

I love my new hair !

Babe's company.

Tonight was disappointing.
I've place so many links there.
But no one reads.
So they claimed that they don't know its gonna be BBQ and they wore so nicely.
HAIS! I should have stated more clearly.

iwishicouldwearmyheartout.
soheavyandfulloftears.
breathingseemsunnecessary

2011-09-21T02:25:00.001+08:00

happybirthdaytotheboyilovethemost.

LIO = Laugh It Off

2011-09-20T20:28:00.002+08:00

I just feel that we should never think so far ahead.
Nothing is guarantee in this world.
But that plan just show how much i want to be with you.
HAHA!

Acme of devastation

2011-09-20T20:21:00.003+08:00

Watched Chalet girl with Mer and Jchoo.
It was british, with english humor and the cinema only have 7 people including us.
So most of the part we don't really know what they're saying.
It's not a bad movie just, not to our liking but whatever.
I totally watch it for Ed Westwick and found Sophia Bush was playing his GF.
WHATSUSSSUUUUPPP YEAH? It's like the most beautiful couple on screen.
I LOVE SOPHIA AND HER SEXY VOICE + FIGURE!!
*DROOOOL*

Thoughts

2011-09-20T00:43:00.001+08:00

Sometimes only when you're in the state of moment you can realise every lyric maes sense.

從來沒想過不能再和你牽手
委屈時候沒有你陪著我心痛

一切都是我太過驕縱以為你會懂
一直忘了說我有多感動

我知道你還是愛著我
雖然分開的理由我們都已接受

你知道我會有多難過
所以即使到最後還微笑著要我加油

我知道你還放不下我
才會在離開時閉著眼沒有回頭
我們都知道彼此心中其實這份愛沒停過

從來沒想過不能再和你牽手
委屈時候沒有你陪著我心痛

一切都是我太過驕縱以為你會懂
一直忘了說我有多感動

我知道你還是愛著我
轉載來自 ※Mojim.com　魔鏡歌詞網
雖然分開的理由我們都已接受

你知道我會有多難過
所以即使到最後還微笑著要我加油

我知道你還放不下我
才會在離開時閉著眼沒有回頭
我們都知道彼此心中其實這份愛沒停過

曾經完整幸福的夢在腦海裡頭
我多希望你還在我左右ＯＨ～

我知道你還是愛著我
雖然分開的理由我們都已接受

你知道我會有多難過
所以即使到最後還微笑著要我加油

我知道你還放不下我
才會在離開時閉著眼沒有回頭
答應你我會好好過不讓這些眼淚白流

Technically fine

2011-09-19T00:40:00.002+08:00

i have wonderful people around me.
they are there when i need them.
i know they can't do everything to help me.
i have to help myself.
i'm keeping myself busy and happy.
but some parts of me still feels empty.

First cut is the deepest

2011-09-17T06:44:00.002+08:00

OMG LOVE THE HTHT WITH LOVELIES!

Betrayal is indeed not a helpful thing to me now.
I'm sorry that our trust is broken.
Thanks for being really nice to me but i hate it when people do things like that.

(#notjeff)

So what about you?

2011-09-16T00:29:00.002+08:00

I'm finally coming to a clean line.
All i ask for is that we'll at least be friends.
I won't compel if you don't wish to though.

Mom laughed at me.
She says she missed him.
HAHA STUPID LAH MOTHER!!!!
Suddenly i broke down and she speechless.
LOL SCARE THE SHIT OUT OF HER!

LOL
anyway, i really don't understand how things become like this.
Maybe it's really my fault lah but what now is the fact i need to face.
i will be okay soon (:

Drawing lines

2011-09-15T11:09:00.000+08:00

Years ago when C broke up with A, she told me she spend $700 in a day to make her heart feel whole again. Shopping is really a help to heartache? But she said that after a long day shopping, A was still in her mind the whole night. So that's only temporary cure? I think time will heal is the only phrase that's absolutely right about heartache. Well, my time have not come to save me fully yet but I really want to be okay pretty soon.

I've always talk without thinking about consequences. My actions too. I just do it because I feel like it. Resulting taking people around me for granted. I've come to know this now but it's too late for everything. In life, some things you just have to learn the hard way.

I don't feel like going work at all. It's torturous there! I know nothing and when I ask I felt like an idiot. They just give me the "why are you asking me?" look. The time pass bloody slow!! Anyway, i don't like to stay at home too. It's so stressful. I've been pestering Mer and Jchoo to accompany me, even they don't like it! Hahaha

I wanna watch crazy stupid love!
I wanna watch chalet girl.
I wanna watch what's my number!

2011-09-14T16:02:00.001+08:00

i seriously have no idea how people survive heartbreaks.
Like seriously, i don't think i've heartbreaks until now?
It really beats me. I'm gonna google it.

Days like weeks

2011-09-14T15:51:00.002+08:00

This is how i spend my mooncake festival with my darlings.

Nathan is growing fast.

The crazy people.

>

Mych and i made this under Mav/Clau ideas.

this certainly brought back memories last year when i receive a mms.
follow by a text "do you like it?"

My emo drama queen.
& i really didn't have the intention to post about the crepe.
HAHA it was nice thanks MYCH!!

With the wind, it goes away

2011-09-14T15:06:00.002+08:00

Monday was Joey's birthday, Gilbert organized a BBQ for her.
Happy 18th Joey!

So last night was the final night and i still didn't get what i wanted.
Waking up this morning and erased every single thing i planned to do on the 27th of this month.
I can't figure out what i'm feeling anymore. I guess it's call empty?
For the very first time it felt this way. Everything to me its so meaningless now.
So lost, i don't even know what i wake up for. I know this is not the end of the world.
But certainly it's the end of mine.
I'm not being dramatic. I'm clear minded.
I know what I am going through. I know every part of me is falling.
But I'm gonna be okay.
Because I can't live like everyone around me owes me something.
And I won't be living this way.
Even I'm not okay I'm not gonna show it anymore.
I've made my decision.
I know how difficult it is if i choose to be like this.
But that's what i'm going to do.
Because no one can ever make me feel this way again.

Leaving a place with your name

2011-09-10T12:49:00.001+08:00

I have always questioned a long distance relationship. That's why when my best friend started her's, I don't really give her all my support. Not because that guy is not good enough, it's just that I've this impression that long distance relationship will be quite tortuous and I really can't bare to see her going through all that.

However, lucky (if you wanna call it), or I believe it's becus of their faith/love, her boyfriend and her made thru a year and still, standing strong. I'm really proud of both of them.

But not every long distance relationship can be like theirs. Recently, one of my friend's girlfriend went oversea to study. I can see my friend really love her and they've been together for more than 3 years in Singapore. He cares for her a lot and he was worried when he knows that she was going oversea. He makes all effort including buying an iPhone so as to FaceTime with her. Not only that, other sweet lovely things he do for her I can be absoulety sure that my this friend really treasure the girlfriend a lot. After she flew there, my frien misses her like mad. In protecting the relationship with my friend, sometimes the girlfriend will have some unreasonable requests. For example, no mahjiong, no texting of any girls etc. But my friend will always meet the requirements. He will always give his best to make his girlfriend not worry.

Last night, we went to a group outing and I was sitting beside this friend during movie. Since the start of the movie he has been texting this girl he knew awhile ago. It's really not that simple if you get what I mean. After the movie, I told him I was kind of surprise to see that. Of course, I had no position to be disappointed or comment on him. However he says this to me, "I just need someone to talk to."

SERIOUSLY!?

First of all, is that girl you're texting think that she's just "someone to talk to" or she feels differently? So if your girlfriend is back, she's just no use anymore?

Secondly, why do u need a "new girl" to satisfy your need to text someone? What about your Gf? How will she feel?

Thirdly, you really tells "new girl" everything? Like HTHT? Like a new friend? Then what about your friends and bros?
.

I did not purposely write his story out to just criticize him. I like him as a friend. He is a nice guy. He is very kind, caring and helpful. He's not a bad guy. Please don't misunderstand. I just feel that people can do so many selfish things when they are lonely. And no matter how much you need someone, when the latter is not around, you'll tend to go astray. No matter is it mentally or physically. Therefore, love is not this noble to survive the test from time and distance. (but if you're having a perfect long distance r/s, I can say it's really amazing and it really gives people hope! At least it gives me hope!)

Probably I think too much recently and is too agitated about this issue. Suddenly have a lot of thoughts about it. How love can be so brittle. How love can never survive temptations and can never fail to stray.

To me, missing someone is really hard when you don't even know if the person still cares for you or not. It hurts just so much to miss someone who wants you out of his life.

Last night, Don told me that he feels that people are so fake and only care/find for you when they need you. He was absoultely right. I mean, we're all living in a selfish world.

I really have to thank Jchoo for accompanying all these days. Also, my lunchmate+baby=Eilly haha not to forget all the sweet texts from Gerrry and Sufyan. And all my beloved cousins I'm going to see later.

It's hard to tell each and everyone what happened. Also, not everyone who I talked to know what really had happened and what's the real conclusion now for us. It's not because I couldn't accept it yet, okay yah maybe I still haven't. But it's just hard. Hard to express. Especially when my mom asked and suggest outings. Just don't know how to start telling her.

Gonna get ready for my celebration ;)

K
(blogbooster for iPhone)

A part of me still wants to stay

2011-09-08T11:51:00.001+08:00

Watched this with mer last night. It was a good movie. Really thanks mer for accompany me these days. I feel really happy around her. Amazed by the amount of stuffs we can talk about.

Anyway yep meet up with Jchoo for dinner. He has been going to tienhsia very frequently these days. Haha last night he accompany me to wait for mer. So the kids saw him again and give the stunned look cos of his septum piercing.

Went to find shuinan yesterday also at his work place haha oh man I really miss gerrry and I always pangseh her ;( gonna hug and kiss her when I see her (since Jerome is still out of town) hahaa!

So looking forward to lantern festival celebration at CCK this weekend.

The time in office is going in slow pace. I'm blogging from office thou not connected to wifi, here the 3G imba good! Haha
K
(blogbooster from iPhone)

Relates at this moment

2011-09-05T08:45:00.002+08:00

S.H.E - 安靜了

It's been two years

2011-09-03T00:01:00.002+08:00

Every time i watch this video, i'll watch repeatedly for more than 10 times.
And then cry myself to sleep.
And suddenly I feel everything is really gonna be okay.

Whenever I'm alone and need something to believe in again, it helps.
Thank you Erica for making this video since 2 years ago.
AND ALSO, she makes amazing videos.
If you watch Glee (i dont), you should visit her site these days.
Ericazach
Visit her stunning youtube videos.

Thank You

2011-09-02T22:00:00.002+08:00

2 days ago met up with Gerrry and Eilly for dinner and HTHT.
The thing i like about them is that they are not like ordinary friends who just side you blindly.
They will not "force" you to make a harsh decision when you're troubling.
They listen and then be there for you.
Really listen. Some people just aint.
They say they will listen but they actually just hear hear only.
But my loves they do, sincerely.
I can't describe how they are.
They're just very awesome to me!
VERY VERY VERY AWESOME!

THANK YOU!
Seeing Eilly mon-fri (:
HAHA!

Another Celebration

2011-09-02T21:29:00.003+08:00

On monday, 29/8, we also went out to celebrate.

Before that let me intro you my new mint top by EGP
Went to cut off my fringe.

Watched with J
it's really damn good!

Meet lovelies for dinner.

Went M's house to drink and play cards.
So nice all the games!
Thanks F for initiate all the games!

BRO DRUNK!
haha!

3 days passed

2011-09-02T20:30:00.002+08:00

OH YEAH!

Here's my update on my brother's 23rd.
This year, he's really busy.
I think he almost celebrated for a week.

The Sat before his actual birthday, 27/8, we went to West Coast Park to BBQ.

Because sudden change of weather and we have no shelter, my relatives built tent overhead together. haha so cute.

see my mom in poncho. haha so cute right?

So united right?

Start of BBQ, look so excited is my little brother! haha.

I am Kelyn Adams leh!! haha.

See the next photo, top right hand corner, Mandy and her husband so loving.
Don't know when they will have a baby.
Wait until so long!

Okay this is how our "BBQ TENT" looks like.

Minle and I were the cooks for about 1-2 hours.

Then Yanbin's dad takes over.
And see, Yanbin is always eating!

Strawberry Delight from Jack's Place.

I hope my brother had a good night that night.
The cake is i buy one.
HAHAHAAHA! SO PINK!

Mummy in action!

Accept the truth even it's bitter

2011-09-01T23:32:00.001+08:00

Meet Kenneth and Claudia for dinner.

Ken treat us dinner. AWESOME MUCH!

Today lunch with Eilly was awesome too because cheese shaker fries makes me happy.

Internship is really stressful.

I can't meet the requirements they gave me.

The work, it's always not good enough.

Then mom is giving me a lot pressure.

I don't know how long i can survive everything.

I'm just scare.

:(

Crash into you

2011-08-30T22:47:00.003+08:00

this is the first time i wear this dress.

i bought it two years ago with mych for a wedding dinner.

but in the end i zapped my hair so i wore pants to the wedding dinner. haha.

and also i was fat then, couldn't really fit in.

can't even remember what shop i brought it from.

Hari Raya and worked with Pauline.

Talked a lot of crap.

Tomorrow is first day of internship.

Looking forward (:

Another 4 days.
I really don't know what to do.
Just afraid.

You're hard to find

2011-08-28T02:14:00.001+08:00

Love that we're so retarded together (:
happy 11th month.

Wasn't clear enough

2011-08-28T01:10:00.003+08:00

Friday went to drink for choo's belated celebration.

Drank a bit. too fast.

crying stuns again.

diva green multi strands necklace,

H81 basic navy knit long sleeves,

f21 navy jacquard knit skirt,

rush brown flats,

Marc by MJ sling bag.

rings from bkk

gonna update bro's BBQ celebration tomorrow(:

Asleep at Heaven's gate

2011-08-26T00:44:00.001+08:00

4 inch nude heels (:

Happy Birthday Choo(:

2011-08-25T00:44:00.002+08:00

(23/8) Happy Birthday to this amazing bro we had.
Gave him a surprise 12mn of his twenty(:
Never told him how lucky J and I were to have him before, but we are.
And, he don't read my column so he will never find out also. HAHA!

Gilbert's doing on birthday boy.
And who is Gilbert?

The one who opens his leg wide.
And pose sexily on the floor.

Exams are officially over.
I can decorate my room now!
(:

Hurry up

2011-08-21T22:38:00.003+08:00

keep eating that for supper.

today, i truly feel that im skinny.

and im really happy.

I think people tends to put their hopes and dreams in others.

They see future and goodness and the chance they (the others) have to be better than who we are now.

And then we depend a lot of our so-call wanted happiness on others.

And we never really will get there since happiness is never a destination.

It's a mood.

Then we start to blame others who left or disappoint us.

That's human yeah?

I would really die for sushi now!

One day ...

2011-08-21T05:37:00.002+08:00

David Beckham's close up tattoo of his daughter's name.

I'll do that.

Each and every of my little buddy.

On me.

Just can't wait.

Recklessly spreading love

2011-08-20T22:10:00.002+08:00

Recovering from chicken pox.

Today is a happy day.

Progress.

Take a break

2011-08-19T17:53:00.002+08:00

I've changed a lot since the past few months.
Everything is different.
I'm different.
Everyone around me is different.
HAHA!

Took a break to RWS Hard Rock for buffet lunch

clams

soba

lychee sorbet and strawberry ice cream w mango moose cake.

fruits and rice dumpling soup

waffles in maple syrup and chocolate syrup

I know i've been "not myself" lately.
I will come back!!!
HAHA!
i've been updating my tumblr more often.
OHHHHH some tumblr has uber good food.
I LOVE GOOD FOOD!
really feel for a crepe now!!

Lost in updating

2011-08-14T14:45:00.002+08:00

Today's my cousin's birthday.

Last week we went to celebrate her birthday.
I mention earlier in my blog the photos are with Mav (:

Awesome dinner paid by Vincent.

Present!

She's happy. That's more important.

(:

2011-08-14T13:05:00.002+08:00

It's been like a joke to many people.
I, 22 years old, lao kok kok, still having chicken pox?
Yes. And my MC covers till my exam end.
Which means, i can't go for my exams.
As adults may need more than two weeks to recover from this illness, my doctor is afraid that I can't make it to the examination.
I haven't start studying cos the pain and fever is making me losing all the focus.
I just keep sleeping day and night.
Knowing that it won't just go away anytime soon, all I can do is endure.

Being sick means being really harsh.
My temper is already bad in the first place.
my little brother is really very very kind.
He is nine. He buys me food, makes me herbal drinks and apply medications for me.
He ensures that i sleep well, eat well and feels good.
He even knows some words of affirmations.
He will tell me that I don't have to worry because things will soon be okay.
While applying medications I told him my skin looks horrible and disgusting.
He then hold onto my hand and says,"you're still beautiful and it's not disgusting."

At times, my mom, Ken and I are really mad at him.
He's so hands on and hyper. He can't stay focus on studying.
He only likes to play and build stuffs.

But these days, my little brother is the only person who takes care of me 24/7.
He is only nine.
Seriously, I'm just the luckiest person on earth.

Thank you mom for brewing all the neccesary things for me.
Thank you Kenneth for all the heart felt texts.
Thank you weibin for making a trip down to help me.
Thank you J for travelling all the way and ensure I'm okay.
Thank you cousins for all the lovely encouargments.
Thank you peeps who asked for me to take care and rest well.

I want to get out so badly.
I miss going to work (esp ah pur's jokes and bullying mer)
I miss dating J.
I miss Ger and omelet but I can't meet them.
I miss laughing and studying with Minle and Yanbin.
I miss the crazy karaoke session with lovelies.
I miss all the freedom I use to have.

I really need to get better.

Happy National Day

2011-08-09T17:30:00.002+08:00

Kimberly's celebration was on Sat.
And again, i brought a camera without charging out.
Therefore, i had no photos at the celebration.
We went to Cash Studios sing and its dead cheap.
Though, the atmosphere weren't like those we use to go.

Okay anyway, just have to wait for Mav to upload those awesome photos.

On Monday went to celebrate two of my uncles' birthdays.

The kids are extremely excited.
I think they thought it's their birthday.

Look at Natalie in the middle posting so nicely for the photos.

There's more pictures with Mav.
My camera is too lousy to capture all these moments.
It's like the lighting is so weird.
Sometimes, cannot even see the people's face.

Mav and Nathan

Mych'es sexy cleavage.
OMG IM SO GONNA UPLOAD HER UNGLAM DANCING VIDEO!!

Nathan getting all hyper. haha.

These photos make us look short and weird. LOL

Nicole was suppose to be in the photo too.
But she refuse to take with us. She wanna be alone.

Here's what Nicole says when kaiye finished making his bday wish.
"Ah gong let's blow the candle together!"

LOL EPIC!
then her grandpapa blew off the candles without her.
she just stood there looking disappointed for .. 3 secs.

Watched Horrible Bosses with Ken, Mav, Claud and J

J. Aniston is soooooo sizzzzzzzy hot

much prefer her in blonde but anyway, she looks good.

HAHA!
and i wake up with blue blacks on my legs.
:(

If the world is mad, i am too

2011-08-05T00:51:00.002+08:00

Watched this on Tuesday at J's house.

My blog is dead boring.
Hopefully some photos with cousins on Sat can brighten up my blog.

ITS BEEN REALLY TIRING IN SCHOOL THESE DAYS.

Okay anyway i had my NAPFA test today after like... many years.
But my 5 stations still a blast lah!
Can't believe i still can jump over 200 for Standing board jump.
Okay yes yes yes yes i am very proud and now boasting about it!
HAHAHAHAHAHHAHA VERY HAPPY.
All got As!
Then... DANG DANG DANG ... 2.4Km failed.
LOL i've never get a C in my 2.4km before.
actually, not even a bloody B!
and the i fail my 2.4km and fail the whole NAPFA!
HAHHAHAHA i limped for 3 rounds!
kuku neh neh lah i don't know why my leg cramp.
must be not enough warm up and too old and too long never exercise.
BLOODY HELL SAD CASE LOR ME!
AHAHAHHAHAHHAHA
anyway...
fail means fail. say so much also fail.
so, no point trying to find excuses why i fail 2.4km.
HAI!

Ship design is finally presenting tomorrow.
WAH LET ME TELL YOU.
BLOOD BOIL MAN.
IMAGINE THE WHOLE SHIP IS YOU DRAW YOURSELF.
REPORT YOU DO YOURSELF.
PPT YOU DO YOURSELF.
CALCULATIONS YOU DO YOURSELF.
and you need to give half of your marks to this bugger who group with you.
seriously, man, i don't know what to give him present leh.
Like seriously, he can present what i also don't know.
After the presentation, i really will be very happy. even my ppt gonna sucks or what.
JUST CELEBRATE ONLY! HECK CARE!

then study for exam
:(

Ten

2011-07-30T20:26:00.000+08:00

Few days ago we went to eat the XLB i've been trying to book for very long.
Finally we got to eat it.
The booking was made one month in advance.
Kua Zhang or not?

This simple dinner to mark our 10 months.
(actually is we REALLY wanna eat the XLB buffet, not so much on 10mnth)
HAHA LIKE VERY LONG MAN STILL ONLY TEN MONTHS ONLY -.-"
Everyone was like "you all only 10 months?" LOL YEAH!
funny hor.
I think next time we won't even care about monthniversary HAHA!

They give the meat like a lot a lot a lot!
SIAO ONE!
REALY A LOT!

2011-07-28T00:00:00.002+08:00

Depending on relax pills to sleep.
Im gonna earn as much as possible to go for proper medication.
Can't live this way.